Friday, May 05, 2006

Management Lies

A skill that I've acquired working (as a software engineer) in corporate America, is recognizing when I am being lied to, especially by the members of the "management". It is something that I think everyone should have. So I have decided to share my knowledge. Here are the top 5 lies that I'’ve heard over and over again and I am sure you must have heard too!

5: "Your input is valuable to us"
No, it no. What is valuable to them is to have you think that!

4: "The future is bright."
Actually this is not a complete lie. It is partly true. Having worked at a startup, I realized that while it was a dead end job for me, the future was bright from the people in management who had a huge personal stake in the company.

3: "Our people are the best."
If you give your boss truth serum before this talk you would hear him say "Our people are the best amongst the people desperate enough to work here at the meager salary we were willing to offer"

2: "We'll review your performance in 6 months."
I personally fell for this one when I was negotiating my salary for my first job. The 6 months never came.

And the top lie, ladies and gentlemen (drum-rolls in the background)

1: "Employees are our most valuable asset."

They should be, but they are not. The only time they treated that way is on their last week at work, when management needs them to transfer their knowledge to another employee.

On a side note:
You know as a software engineer you are a valuable asset to the company when you have..
"a quiet private office, a great computer, unlimited beverages, an ambient temperature between 68 and 72 degrees (F), no glare on the screen, a chair that's so comfortable you don't feel it, an administrator that brings them(you) their mail and orders manuals and books, a system administrator who makes the Internet as available as oxygen, a tester to find the bugs they (you) just can't see, a graphic designer to make their (your) screens beautiful.."

Outgoing links:
Truth Serum: On Wikipedia
Development Abstraction Layer

1 comment:

Aneesha Pillai said...

nice blog i liked it!!!